food, faith, and family
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So I know I’ve said this before, but this time I really mean it.
JD has fixed the problem with the bug in my site.
Please let me know if you are still having problems.
What a headache.
On another note. Did you know that your skin can actually get so dry that it wakes you up at night screaming to be scratched?
My grandmother swore by Corn Huskers Lotion.
I swear that if I could find some, I’d fill a bathtub with it and soak for a day.
Anybody else got a better idea?
Pastor: “……..virgin birth…….very important…….”
Katie: leans over to me and whispers: “Mommy what is the difference between a virgin and a normal person?”
Me: (Wondering why her Daddy never gets these kind of questions) “Well, a virgin is someone who has never had sex. You are a virgin. I am not”
Katie: “Eeeeewwwww”
Good answer, Katie. Good answer.
This weekend I got a little mad at the internet.
Katie had a few girls over Friday night for a sleep over. They wanted to watch a movie. They watched Peter Pan. Except not the animated one. This one had a cute boy playing the part…..as opposed to Sally Duncan….which is what I got as a kid. A couple of the girls thought the boy was just so cute and they wanted to google his name.
Here’s where I got mad at the internet.
I was worried about what they would see. What they would find out that this guy is up to.
Back in my day I loved Donnie Osmond. I mean, the teeth, the hair, the smile. Oooooohhhhh. I loved him. I wanted to know all about him like these girls wanted to know about that boy in Peter Pan.
Know where I got my information?
Tiger Beat Magazine.
Know what I found out?
That his favorite color was purple. That he liked grape soda. That what he was looking for in a girl was someone who was really sweet and liked to walk on the beach.
Scripted. Totally. But that’s okay by me.
In this day of instant information and Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears, I wasn’t sure what they would pull up by searching this boy’s’ name. I was right there as they typed in his name ready to slam the computer lid shut if needed.
It seems to me that some level of innocence has been lost.
Make that another level of innocence.
It makes me sad and it makes me angry.
Luckily, all they found out was that he is now 20 years old. Which caused the two girls that were all in love with him (Katie not among them…she thought his teeth were weird) to go, Eeeeeeeewwwwwww!
And caused me to breathe a sigh of relief.
I almost broke into the ugly cry at church Sunday morning. The one where my face gets all blotchy and my shoulders shake and I make that weird noise while I’m trying to catch my breath. I’m a crier, that is for sure, but this was a different kind of cry. One that feels like it is coming from somewhere deep inside you
I know that God is working on some things in my heart. Everywhere I turn these days I am confronted by the question of the pursuit of Christ. And I mean the ACTIVE pursuit of Christ. How is that played out in my life on a daily basis.
I’m a nice person. I do good things. I’m helpful. I know all the right things to say. I’m gracious to guests and open my house to any who want to come. I open doors for old people and mommies with babies in strollers. I say please and thank you. I think that most people who know me would say that I’m a good person.
I’ve been a Christian since I was six. I remember asking Jesus to come live in my heart while sitting on the arm of my Daddy’s recliner and listening to Brother Goforth tell me what that meant. I remember being baptized in the pool of the First Baptist Church in town. (Our little country church didn’t have it’s own baptistry) I’ve done youth group and retreats and Campus Crusade for Christ and mission trips and bible studies galore. I can still recite a list of the books of the bible by heart and even know where those pesky books Malachi and Haggai are found.
But the question that will not leave my mind is this. Am I just a good person? Am I so intent on doing the right things that I’m not being.
Am I pursuing Christ?
The hard answer is that I just don’t know. I don’t know.
I profess to love Christ. Not just love God. That’s pretty acceptable in our world. I can say I love God and everyone will just sort of nod in agreement. But when you say that you love Jesus?
Well, that sometimes gets some sideways glances.
Cause, you know, does that mean you don’t drink or cuss or lose your temper or speak hatefully to your family or fail people on a daily basis? Does it mean that you do all the dos and don’t do all the donts? That you always make the right decisions and wear a big cross around your neck or perhaps a WWJD bracelet?
I’ve been known to let fly a few colorful words. I’ve been a bad friend, wife, mother, and sister more times than I can count.
Sometimes I’m a really bad person.
In fact, the good person in me is constantly at war with the bad person. And in trying to be that good person, I often get caught up in the doing and not the being.
And guess what else? I’m afraid that people will think I’m a kook if I start talking about Jesus.
It shames me to even type that sentence.
Here is the truth. The truth is that because of Jesus, I live a life covered by grace. Grace that knows no bounds and that covers all that I’ve done and all that I’m going to do. A grace that I can’t even begin to fathom. A grace that took my life and all my attempts to screw things up and is making something good. Even out of my mistakes. In SPITE of my mistakes.
And I believe in that Jesus. I believe that there had to be reconciliation between God and man and that Jesus fulfilled that. That the cross was necessary.
Jesus was necessary.
I could tell you that I am resolved to start talking more about Jesus in my day to day life. That I no longer want to even hint that I’m ashamed of my faith by being scared to talk about it with those I love.
I want that to be the truth.
But I’m struggling. Good vs. Bad.
The battle continues.
It was bound to happen.
It would have been silly for me to think I could have gotten through this whole move with no moments of angst.
But it seemed that maybe it was going to go that way. I were so busy with the move, and then we were on this whirlwind trip for several weeks. When we finally landed back in Dayton, we had a gazillion boxes to sort through. Who had time to think about missing Virginia!?
Back to school night was last Thursday night. The teacher lists had come out a couple of days before and that was the first time I felt a little twinge of homesickness. In Virginia, my friends and I would have checked the lists and then all gathered at the pool to talk about the teacher assignments and hope that our kids were in the same class. I would have known all the kids in the girl’s classes and could tell at a glance what kind of year we were apt to have.
It was hard to look at the list and not recognize one name.
So I’ve felt a little nostalgic for our old school. We loved it so. We loved our teachers and we’ll miss seeing them every day.
And yes, I realize that I’m saying “we” as if I was going to a different school, too. I think that I’m actually having a harder time with it than the girls. They’ve had a few moments of missing their old friends, but they are mostly excited about meeting new people and being in a new place.
I’m glad my children seem to have it together more than their momma.
I’m such a sentimental sap.
I’ve been without internet service for 10 days. I totally missed the deaths of MJ, Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett. Not to mention I had to try and locate a phone book in order to find a number I needed (GASP!)
Oh ATT, you and your promises. You said I’d be up and running by 8pm a week ago. Then you said that you’d forgotten to send me a modem but because I am a VALUED customer, you’d send it overnight and I’d be good as new in less than 24 hours.
You lied.
Overnight evidently means 48 hours in real time.
Since the modem arrived I’ve spent approximately 7 hours on the phone talking to numerous people. Two of which told me their names where “Kevin” and “Tom” but I suspect they may have been fibbing because they sure didn’t sound like their mammas would have given them those names.
I wonder. Does the management of these big companies really think they can fool us into thinking we are talking to someone in the US by making them tell us their names are Kevin or Tom or Billy Bob?
Turns out that between the efforts of a nice gentleman named Mike who came to my house and performed wonders with wire cutters and lots of equipment that he kept unhooking from his belt and attaching to different parts of my house, and a gal named Marge (really. She sounded totally like a Marge) I am now up and running.
And guess what they told me?
This whole debacle happened because ATT is in contract negotiations with their employee unions and they aren’t budging on giving these guys health benefits.
Really?
ATT can’t afford to pay part of Marge and Mike’s health benefits? Didn’t they make something like 12 billion dollars last year?
So they guys in the field are way behind on orders because they can’t work the overtime they need in order to keep up. Hence the run around I got.
It might have been nice if someone had mentioned that to me during the 47 conversations I had with various representatives over the last week.
I’m not anti big business by any means but this sounds might stingy to me.
I’ll bet “Kevin” and “Tom” didn’t ask for benefits.
Our friend’s daughter is a couple of years older than Katie. Her interest in boys is starting to pick up and there was a lot of talk about one boy in particular. After listening to her recite some of his attributes with stars streaming out of her eyes the entire time, I looked at her mama and said,
“She’s eat up, isn’t she?”
Reaction from my friend?
Totally blank stare.
At this point I have no idea whether this is a southern term or another “Land-ism” from my people. Whatever the case, I’ll do my best to explain it.
“Eat up” : to be totally obsessed with something. To be able to talk of nothing else. To think of nothing else.
Kind of how JD feels about me.
Except for those unfortunate 3 days a month……..
One of the most amazing parts of parenting is seeing these little things grow up in to their very own person. To see the ways in which they take after me (they walk around with a book stuck in their face 95% of the time) and JD (they are both really easygoing).
But every so often you see them do something that seems to come out of nowhere. And you think
“What?”
This weekend I had a moment like that with both of my girls. Katie had a piano festival. She has been working on two pieces to play at this event for months. There were times that I thought we’d both go crazy if she played them one more time.
This festival involved the kids playing their pieces in front of two judges, the rest of the participants and their parents. There were probably about 25 people all together. The judges were very stern faced. The kids were given the signal to start by a very curt nod from the second of the two judges. Smiles were no were to be found. Some of the kids were a wreck. One little girl who is a couple of years older than Katie got so frazzled that she actually curled up into an upright fetal position right there on the piano bench. It was agonizing to watch.
I was like that girl. I remember when I was about Katie’s age I sang “Open My Eyes That I May See” to my little country church congregation. I got so nervous that after it was over I had to actually lay down on the pew to keep from throwing up.
Katie walked right up there and played her pieces well. Even a couple of minor mistakes didn’t throw her off her game. I was so proud of her and at the same time wondered where in the world she has acquired this confidence.
Elena had a horseback riding lesson today. You don’t know fear until you’ve seen your 7 year old atop a full grown horse who looks like he might take off running at any moment. While her horse is generally very good natured, he was not in a very good mood today and didn’t want to obey any of her commands, but she stuck with it. And she showed him who was boss.
I last rode a horse about 15 years ago and he showed me who was boss. Guess what? It wasn’t me.
Believe me, we have lots of things to work on with them. But to see their confidence in their abilities increase with each little challenge is one of the very best things about being a parent.
When I decided that 4 days before 14 people come to my house that I would go out of town for the weekend?
I’m pretty sure that I was thinking that I can’t wait to have some time alone with my husband and to spend some sweet time with our wonderful friends who are (and this is the really good part) as excited to see us as we are to see them.
We are so blessed.
I’m just gonna put my list of things to do out of my mind and enjoy the time away. My family won’t care if every little corner of my house is spotless.
I hope your weekend is just as wonderful as I expect ours to be!
Snippet One
On the way to church tonight JD and I were talking about a recent article about Sarah Palin when one of the girls asked who we were going to vote for. Both of us replied that we hadn’t decided yet but were leaning toward Obama. I then asked, “Katie, if you could vote, who would you vote for?”.
She replied, “I don’t have to decide. I’m enjoying my freedom from worry.”
Ah yes. Those were the days.
Snippet Two
We were talking about having a day where you could do anything you wanted. The girls listed off the usual suspects such as T.V. , computer, eating candy, etc. Then Elena chimed in and said that she knew what Mommy would do with such a day.
“She would laze around and read People magazine.”
She thinks she’s so smart. She totally forgot about the box of Cheeze-its I’d be eating.
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