Mothering

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Out of Control: Part 2

July 15, 2010 in Family, Home, Kids, Mothering by Sara | 1 comment

The first lesson?

Little boys are not like little girls.

Little boys have lots of energy and it needs to go somewhere. And it needs to go there fast. And furious.

Little boys have some sort of magic power that enables them to produce rocks and sticks and dirt and bits of everything else from what seems like right out of thin air. And they stick all of it in their pockets.

I learned to check those pockets right quick before throwing them in the washing machine.

My bathrooms needed cleaning more often. Little boys do not have good aim. Nor do they always remember to put the seat up.

Or down.

I also learned that our house was a nice place with some of that little boy energy in it. Even if we didn’t always know what to do with it or it sometimes needed to be redirected or harnesses in a little bit.

Yeah. That harnessing bit?

The lessons were about to get harder.

Out of Control: Part 1

July 12, 2010 in Faith, Family, Kids, Mothering by Sara | 2 comments

I like being in control.

(That wild cackling you hear? That would be my family laughing their heads off at that little bit of understatement.)

Now I’ve lived long enough and had enough things happen that I know that control is merely an illusion and that we all live right on the razor’s edge of chaos at any given moment. But still, most of the time I still operate under the illusion that given the right tools and circumstances I can make most things turn out right.

So it appears that God is feeling the need to teach me some lessons in this area.

JD has been involved on and off before and in the early years of our marriage with a national mentoring program. Once we were here and settled in and knew that we’d be sticking around for the long haul he felt nudged to get involved with this program again. After a long application process he was matched up with a little 7 year old boy.

In the interest of protecting his privacy, I’m not going to go into all the details of his story. But the short version is that he lost both parents in a very horrific way on his fourth day of kindergarten. This left him in the care of his very loving but devastated grandmother who suddenly found herself not only grieving the loss of her only child and daughter but suddenly being the full time parent to a 5 year old. Add to the picture that she also suffers from a physical ailment which keeps her from moving very quickly or easily.

And they have no one else.

No one.

No family.

For several months we have been having “Sam” at our house. He’s been hanging out with us and we’ve been getting to know him. The girls have been so good at welcoming him into our home and our family.

So when his grandmother needed some medical procedures performed we were happy to offer to have him for the time she would need help. She thought it would be about 4-5 days. I knew it would be longer and we were fine with that.

We had him for two weeks. It was both two of the most rewarding and challenging weeks of our lives.

The lessons we learned? Stay tuned.

Gentle Reminder

June 28, 2010 in Faith, Family, Kids, Mothering by Sara | 3 comments

Oh my, I was so whiny last week

Going on about my plans getting changed and things not going my way.

Boo Hoo on me.

It’s a wonder I could stop feeling sorry for myself long enough to welcome our dear Olivia June to the family (by the way, Mike. You should get something in the mail on Tuesday or Wednesday that will totally make me your favorite sister. Don’t tell Ann, though.)

Several things have happened lately that let me know that God is determined to teach me about selflessness. I’ll be right up front with all of you. Dying so self is not my strong suit. I may have mentioned that one or a thousand times. I am so quick to forget that it’s just not all about me.

Really? It’s not?

Dadgum.

Tonight our house church was privileged to serve a meal to some 100 folks who have little to call their own. You want your heart to break? Try looking at hungry children in the face. Look at people who are probably 10 years younger than you but look 20 years older.

Here’s the shameful thing. I tried several times to get out of doing this. It just seemed like one more thing on the already rather large list of things to do this week.

And yet, it turns out that it was probably the most important thing of all.

A gentle reminder of what it’s really all about.

All Things Bright and Beautiful

June 22, 2010 in Books, Kids, Mothering by Sara | 2 comments

I will always remember two of the best days of motherhood as the days that Katie fell in love with the Little House on the Prairie series of books and with the books of James Herriot.

I remember reading his tales of veterinary medicine in the England country side and wishing with all my heart that I was right there with him while he pulled that calf out or took care of the fussy old lady’s poofy little dog. I liked the way he mixed in the nitty gritty with the picturesque. I remember reading about him putting his arm all the way up to his armpit inside a laboring cow to pull the calf’s nose around and I was both completely grossed out and completely fascinated by the whole thing.

I think Katie is having the same experience.

I just walked by her room and she looked up from “All Things Bright and Beautiful” and said “Ooooh Mama, he’s talking about a sheep’s prolapsed uterus! That’s DISGUSTING!”

And she went right back to reading.

Let Them Be Them

June 4, 2010 in Kids, Mothering by Sara | 2 comments

I am slowly learning the lesson that my children are their own person. Not a smaller version of me or their dad. Not an extension of me. Their very own person.

I have mostly learned this lesson with the activities that the girls are choosing to do. I remember putting Katie in ballet lessons when she was 3. Cause that’s what you do, right?

She hated it. She hated the shoes, the tights, the music, the hair pulled back tight in a bun. While all the other girls were learning the ballet positions, Katie would lie on the floor and look at the ceiling. After three lesson, she pronounced it “BORING” and we spent the next 6 weeks in a constant struggle. I must have been out of my mind.

She did not hate all music. She’s been playing the piano for 4 years now and loves everything about it. I rarely have to remind her to practice and she only pronounces it boring when Ms. Linda gives her pieces she feels are too easy.

You would think I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

You would be wrong.

After watching Elena play soccer for 4 seasons, and having no idea what I was watching, I kind of bribed her into trying softball because I loved softball. Her sister loves softball. How could she not love softball?

She didn’t love softball.

She didn’t hate it. I don’t think she hated it……….but now that I think about it…….maybe the “slip” off the monkey bars wasn’t really an accident after all……….

But today she tried out for the fall soccer team and I once again was reminded that I need to let my children do what THEY love.

Not what I THINK they should love.

Cause the joy on that child’s face when she came running off the field, dirty and wet from the rain that poured down about halfway through the tryouts, was just a sight to behold.

I hope her mama has really learned her lesson this time.

Glee and Lime Butter Sauce

May 21, 2010 in Food, Kids, Mothering by Sara | No comments

I was tempted to write about an article I read today in our paper. It was all about the show “Glee”.

Now, JD and I just recently watched the first few episodes of season one (thank you Netflix), and I’ll admit that I’m enjoying it very much. However, it is not something that I would ever consider letting my kids watch. It’s got some very mature themes and for those of you who might be thinking that it’s just another “High School Musical”, let me just say.

It is not.

The article said that people are pretty much in agreement that there are some pretty racy scenes not meant for elementary aged kids. However, this has not stopped kids this age from watching it. In fact, it has a huge following of tweens.

This is the quote that got me riled up. One father said this about letting his 8(!) and 11(! )year old watch it.

“They just kicked up such a fuss that I gave up.”

Really.

I didn’t know that was an option as a parent. You get tired of dealing with an issue so you just give up?

And this is where instead of launching into a screed against feckless parents and getting myself all worked up, I’m choosing to share something I discovered today that made me really happy.

Lime Butter Sauce.

This may well be the easiest yet most flavorful and versatile sauce I’ve ever made. 5 ingredients, a quick whiz in the blender and you have something that can go on fish (we had it over grilled salmon), rice or pasta, any vegetable, or chicken.

I can’t really think of anything it wouldn’t go well on.

For those of you that may well gasp at the amount of butter (Hi Kathy!), let me assure you that it only takes a wee little bit to flavor whatever you want to use it on. I probably used less than a teaspoon of it on each piece of fish and just a tad more stirred into the rice. Besides the fat in the fish (good for you omega 3) it was the only fat in the meal.

Too bad I can’t say the same for the iced brownie I bought in a weak moment while picking up the fish……

Lime Butter Sauce from Epicurious

1 large garlic clove, chopped

1/4 cup fresh lime juice (don’t be tempted to use bottled)

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter: melted

Throw everything in the blender and whir it about for a bit until it’s all nice and thick and emulsified.

It’ll keep for at least a week in the refrigerator. But I bet you’ll find enough things to use it on that it won’t last that long.

Again, just like that darned iced brownie.

Mother’s Day

May 10, 2010 in Faith, Family, Kids, Mothering by Sara | 4 comments

2002

There was a time in my life when I was not sure that motherhood was in the cards for me. Infertility issues made our quest to start a family a little more complicated than most.

2009

Thankfully, modern medicine and a heavy dose of miracle gave us two beautiful girls. And while most days I mess up more than once.

2004

And other days I doubt I’m going to hang on to my sanity for even one more minute.

2001

I know that these are the children I was meant to mother. That God is using them to bring me closer to Him with each passing day. They are two of the biggest blessings He has or will ever bestow on me.

2010

Happy Mother’s Day, indeed.

Another Lesson Learned

April 19, 2010 in Faith, Family, Kids, Mothering by Sara | 5 comments

For a full year, Katie has been working on several piano piano pieces. Her teacher, who we love, has been getting her ready to play before a panel of judges a week from Friday. And I’ll have to say that even though I’ve been slowly going round the bend listening to the same 7 songs for months on end, I’m amazed at the way Katie has really stuck with it. She has rarely complained.

One of the things Linda has done to keep Katie enthused about practicing is telling her all about the medal she will get if she does the required pieces and achieves certain scores from the judges for 10 years running.

Yes, I said 10 years.

While I’m not sure that would be enough to keep me motivated, Katie has her eye on the prize. She has even figured out how she could get in the ten years even though she’ll be off to college before they are up. Give the girl a goal and she’ll die trying to reach it.

She’s a little Type A, that eldest of mine.

So when I got a call from the school nurse Friday about noon telling me that Katie had taken a tumble on the playground and they were afraid her wrist was broken, my heart just sank. (This would be break number THREE.) And I’d like to tell you that when I saw her with her wrist all wrapped up and iced I held it together for her sake, but that would be a big fat lie. We both had a great big cry.

Then we spent the next 4 hours in the ER. (Believe me, that in itself is a story for another time.)

We had plenty of time to talk this thing through. One question Katie asked was why God had let this happen.

Gulp.

So we talked about that a little bit. How God doesn’t do things to us, but sometimes allows things to happen in the natural ebb and flow of life that can be really valuable lessons. And that led us into talking about that even if she had worked all year long to play for these judges, that one day wasn’t really the point. The point was that she had been diligent and faithful in her effort and that sometimes that is in and of itself reward enough. If she looked back she could see how much she had grown and matured at the keyboard this year. And not getting to play for the judges wouldn’t take any of that away. Would she be disappointed? Sure. But that’s part of life and a good lesson to learn. (And a good reminder for her Mama.)

Thankfully, the xray revealed no fracture. She has to wear a support on her wrist for a few days and she should be good to go. Today she was back on the piano, continuing to polish those pieces. Determined to get that medal.

She’s a good girl.

A bit accident prone perhaps, but a good girl.

Before we got the results of the xray.

Superpowers

March 25, 2010 in Family, Mothering by Sara | 5 comments

Somewhere I read an interview that asked the question, “What super power would you most like to have?”.

I think the person said the ability to fly or be invisible or something along those lines. And while both of those things would be very cool, I can think of only one super power that I would like to have.

I don’t really know what to call this super power. I do know that only men appear to have it.

It is the power to not hear anything while sleeping.

Baby crying? Doesn’t hear it.

Dog whining? Nope.

Pipes making weird noises in the middle of the night? Sleeping like a baby.

When the girls were babies, I would wake with them in the night, bring them back to bed with me where I would nurse them, burp them, change them and then put them back to bed. All of this took place no more than 12 inches from JD’s head. The next morning he would wake up, look over and say, “Hey! She slept through the night!”.

No. No she didn’t.

Although now that I think about it, maybe it is the woman that has the superpower. Maybe this super hearing we have is just that. All I know is that any sound in my house can wake me out of a sound sleep in .2 sec and have me wide awake for a long time afterward.

I think I’d rather fly.

Or that whole invisibility thing sounds really good……..

Bewitched

January 18, 2010 in Bloggable Moments, Family, Mothering by Sara | 3 comments

Our latest TV obsession is watching “Bewitched”. It is so politically incorrect that every so often I feel compelled to tell my girls that they do not have to do or agree with everything that comes out of their future husband’s mouth.

But Elizabeth Montgomery is so beautiful.

And I want to go on record saying that it is unfortunate that Dick York could not continue as Darrin. They had great chemistry together.

Most of the episodes end up with them smooching. Katie protests loudly (maybe a BIT too loudly if you know what I mean) every time a kissing scene comes on. Elena just watches without saying a word.

Friday night our friends Lily and Alex were spending the night and we were talking about the excessive (in Katie’s mind) kissing and I said to my girls,

“Well no one here wants to kiss any boys, right?”

To which Lily, Alex, and Katie all gagged on their spaghetti at the very thought and loudly proclaimed that they had no intentions of kissing anyone anytime soon.

Elena, on the other hand, looked right at me and said,

“Well, Mama……….you kissed boys, didn’t you?”

And then she smiled sweetly at me.

Lordy mercy.

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