These past few days have been a very strange mix of normal and surreal. There were many times when things felt like they’ve always felt. JD and I drove off to Cleveland Thursday afternoon and it kind of felt like we were off on one of our little mini vacations. We like to take 2 or 3 days away every now and again to recharge and remember what it’s like to be a couple. We sleep in and eat well and talk (or not) as we explore wherever we happen to be.
It all felt very normal. Except for the fact that we had a binder full of doctor’s notes and lab test and CD’s with images of my insides lying on the back seat. Except that instead of exploring a museum on Friday we were instead finding our way to the cancer center at the Cleveland Clinic. My heart was pounding as we walked through those doors. I had had a restless night the night before. Truth be told, it was kind of a relief to have a place where I could really just sob my heart out without fear that the girls might hear me. It felt cathartic. And okay. I’ve stopped feeling that I have to be this super human tower of strength. I don’t think my crying means that I’m doubting God’s sovereignty or His care for me. I think He’s okay with a little breakdown every now and again.
It was a long day but very good. All my doctors are in agreement with the plan to proceed with chemotherapy starting either Tuesday or Wednesday of this week. I will be getting a very aggressive 3 drug combo to be repeated every 3 weeks. At this point there is too much disease to give me radiation safely. If the chemo works well and shrinks the size and number of tumors then we will add radiation later.
We also found out about a phase three trial that I may be eligible for later on. There is another genetic marker that they will be testing my cancer cells for and if it is positive for this particular mutation then we will likely be enrolled in the trial. Of course we are hopeful that the chemo will work so well that I won’t need anything else, but it is great to know that there are more options out there for me.
We left feeling very confident in my treatment plan and ready to move forward. It was so comforting to know that all of these smart minds are all working together to figure out the very best treatment for me. That I am not just another case but that they all want the very best outcome for me.
And it was wonderful to be away for a bit from home. JD and I were able to just be together. There has been so much activity around here lately that it sometimes is hard to carve out time to really talk. We ate at a couple of really great places. Lucky’s Cafe had this great potato cheddar soup that was out of this world. And we also got a great suggestion for dinner that night from one of the waitstaff. If you are ever in Cleveland, be sure to go to Bar Cento. Order a Belgian beer and the fries and know what a little bit of heaven on earth feels like.
We agree with Drew Carey.
Cleveland Rocks.
Prayer Requests:
- Rash on my face would continue to heal. It’s getting better but not fast enough to suit me. And it’s really painful.
- That my first chemo treatment will go smoothly and side effects will be minimal. Truthfully, I’m most afraid of the nausea.
- That my mama will be comforted. She went home yesterday and handed me off to my very capable and loving mother-in-law but it was hard on her to leave me. (And hard on me to be left)
Praise:
This is actually a post all on it’s own that I want to write soon, but we have seen many, many people have their hearts turned toward the Lord since this all started. I can’t tell you what that means to us. It has been simply amazing.
= ) Thinking of you, JD and the girls, love. Still hopeful, encouraged by your news, still praying, still sending love and prayers to you daily. You are wise to honor your feelings; it’s what gives you strength. Miracles abound everywhere….
In the MIGHTY name of JESUS is all I keep praying!
Dear Lord – I praise you for all you are and all you will be to Sara, JD, the girls. I praise you for all the blessings you are bestowing on those who know Sara. Please continue to show all of us the way of your love and truth. And be with her always.
In the name of your precious Son, Amen
Hi Sara. I am thinking of you! On a lighter note, I wanted to let you know that I finally had my first taste of the Pioneer Woman’s food. My friend, Bethann, made us some lasagna the other day using the Pioneer Woman’s recipe…holy cow, it was the best lasagna I’ve ever had (don’t tell my mother-in-law:) ). I’ll be praying extra hard the next couple of days – NO Love you xoxo
Ok, my computer freaked out and didn’t let me finish my sentence!! I was going to say I will be praying for you the next couple of days -NO NAUSIA PLEASE!!!!! Lots of love!
Hallelujah!!! I finally woke up with a cleansed heart. My days of grieving are over for now. I’m ready to put on my suit of armor for both of us and fight, fight, fight. I will not give up in the name of Jesus. As I was praising the Lord this morning finally a sense of purpose emerged. Thank you, Lord. I went out my front door. And behold a rainbow – at 8 o’clock in the morning. God is present. And ready to fight with us. I love you, sweet Sara.
I am amazed, humbled and flabbergasted at the people God has brought to fight this battle through prayer with us! I am brought to tears every time I read the comments and prayers you guys write (Bubba, Paula, Candy Keep it comin’)! You are not only an encouragement to Jane (Sara), but to her family as well. Thanks!
Janie, I love you. You are prayed for, cried for, petitioned for and cheered for every day in this house! We believe God is answering our prayers in ways we can’t see or even imagine.
Jane, as I look into this week, I am reminded constantly of you and your journey. I think of the many hands that are linked together walking this path with you and that fact that God designed it that way – that in the midst of tough times, we would be bound together in one hope, one faith, one spirit to bear one another’s burdens. I am encouraged today as I reach out and hold the hand of the others that are walking with you. I hope you are as well. God’s hand is at the beginning, end and middle of the entire chain providing hope and strength to a needy body. Bless you today and this week.
Jane,
I’m so sorry, but please know it’s okay to cry and feel anxious. As you know it’s perfectly normal. My dear friends who have traveled similar journeys say the anxiety is frighteningly normal, but thankfully does pass. My prayers are for peaceful moments to relieve the anxiety. Take care!
Mary L.
Hey – there’s an interesting article in today’s USA Today about gene treatment and what it’s doing for people and the future of medical treatment through this. The name of the article is “Genes as part of the puzzle” It’s in the Life section of today’s paper. Here’s the article :
http://www.houmatoday.com/article/20101025/ARTICLES/101029574/1008/living?Title=Genes-as-part-of-the-puzzle
TEARS ARE A LANGUAGE THAT GOD UNDERSTANDS… DON’T YOU SUPPOSE THAT SWEAT WAS NOT THE ONLY THING HE SHED IN GETHSEMENE ? I THINK THERE WERE TEARS… JUST LIKE YOURS.. GOD BLESS YOU BEYOND MEASURE…………MOTHER OF GINA IZOR
I wish I could reach thru this laptop and give you a big ole hug! Praying daily for you and your family. Love you!!
Jane, there are so meny people bombarding the gates of heaven for you and your family, our ladies SS class here in Dunlap, pray for you every Sunday, and i pray for you everyday, God is using you so mightly and He is an Awsome God. Bless you and may you continue to rest in His hands.
Brenda
Hey Sara,
Continuing my daily prayers for you, and have asked other prayerful souls to pray for you as well. Lots of love coming your way from people you don’t even know. But I know you and love you! My phone # is 501 960 4946 — please call me if you ever want to talk, cry, scream, pray — whatever. I’m here. Thinking of you daily.
Love you,
Cindy
Hey Jane, long time no see. Sorry I haven’t written to you before now to at least tell you that I’m praying for you but I knew you had so many coming and calling and I didn’t want to get into the way. I just have to tell you that everytime I seek God on your behalf, which is daily, I feel HIS presence an annointing so strongly that it is just almost overwhelming. We don’t know all the reasons that God has in mind for what your going through, but I do know that HE is in control and that many lives have and will be turned to HIM through it all. You have been such an inspiration to me with all your words of wisdom and strength of faith and I just want to tell you that I love you and your family very much and I know and believe that good has and will come out of all this. I am standing on the word of God that says, by HIS strips, Jesus’, we ARE healed. The price has already been paid for your healing and now we receive it in the name of JESUS. I pray to God that HE will overshadow you with such a peace that the world will marvel and want a relationship with HIM like you have. God Bless.
Sending HUGE (((HUGS))) and LOTS of PRAYER!
Continuing every single day for exactly what is happening. Sara, God I answering prayers. God has opened every door we have all prayed for….He has given you strength….which we have prayed for….and He most definitely loved you through your times of sobbing, my dear sister. And, it has been my prayer for you and JD to get time alone…and He has even answered that one.
Thank you for your constant blogs. You truly are inspiring to me and so many. To God Be The Glory….GREAT Things He Has Done, and Will do! I love you!
You crack me up and surprise me daily!
The fact that you can speak about great food and good times in Cleveland gives me great hope for your future!
It was there, just lit a bit lighter today.
I love you!
Julie L
Sara, if God didn’t want us to cry he never would have made us with tears!
And from someone who was nauseated for the first 19 weeks of pregnancy…..for this week, that will be the focus of my prayer for you…NO NAUSEA! I love you, dear friend.
Sara, we all continue to pray for you, JD, and the girls. Yesterday I had a telephone call from a cousin that lives in Clemson, South Carolina. She wanted me to tell you that prayers would be said daily for your family. Her mother, who is 89 years old, had a resort in Speculater, New York. She also sends her prayers. Your continued faith will keep you going. You are an amazing woman and you surely inspire all of us.
Funny to read your blog. When I had chemo, we would jokingly ask each other, “What are you in for?” The chemo room was a little community of people joined together in a common battle.
Just last week, I went in to have my port flushed. I was so happy to run into some familiar faces. I was even happier to be able to tell them – and the others in the room – that even though I had been Stage IV that I was cancer free. We all celebrated together.
I want to let you know that, for me at least, the chemo wasn’t nearly as bad as I had feared. I had a potent mixture of four or five different kinds, but the nurses and doctor worked with me to keep side effects to a minimum. In fact, I only missed a few days of work the entire time. My biggest complaint was the fanny pack I had to wear to hold my chemo pump!
I’ll be praying that your side effects are few, your stamina is strong, and that the chemo will work its magic. It CAN work! I’m proof!
Your friend in the fight,
Michelle