Today on my way to the oncologist’s office (nothing to report…just a regular check-up), I was listening to Terri Gross’ program Fresh Air. Today she was talking with the author of a new book that explores the personal relationship that many Evangelical Christians say that they have with God. To do this she attended two different Vineyard churches over the period of a year. She didn’t just attend services on Sunday morning. She also got involved in a small group (house church, prayer circle) during this time.
Much of what she had to say was very interesting and I agreed with a lot of it. However, there was one thing that just kind of set me on edge a bit.
The Vineyard had lots of suggestions for how you might develop and deepen your personal relationship with God. Some of them were things like pour an extra cup of coffee in the morning, pretend God is sitting on the park bench with you with His arm around you, and perhaps my least favorite, pretend to “cuddle” with God. She was told that you should consider God your “best friend” or your “buddy”.
I have no problem with thinking of God as my heavenly Father. In fact, I even like that the term “Abba” that Jesus used for God actually means “Daddy”. But I am not my father’s best friend or buddy. I am not my Daddy’s peer, although I am my Daddy’s girl.
I think the root of my problem with this is that I feel it removes the reverence we should have for God. I think we should all have a little bit of healthy fear of Him. Much as I do my earthly father. I do not fear my best friends or buddies.
Perhaps I am over reacting. But I’m really interested in your thoughts. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve attended Vineyard churches in the past and never heard any of these particular suggestions although there was a big emphasis on a personal relationship with God. It’s really okay with me if you feel differently than I do. At the end of the day, I want everyone to have a relationship with the Father and however you get there is really okay with me.
Except for maybe the “cuddle” suggestion. That one I may need some time to accept.
It was J.D. who put me unto Brennan Manning and Brian McLaren. We can blame him. I think it was one of them that suggested a daily (hourly?) simple prayer, “Abba, I belong to you.” Short and sweet. If you think about it pretty deep, it is pretty big, if meant sincerely. Can we get to mean it? Maybe it takes 30/40/50 years. I think “relationship” is a big buzz word in many churches these days and it is OK. It has us thinking. Your post obviously made me think of some lousy relationships some children have had with dad’s, which could color their concept of “father”. We had a friend, now deceased, who told me that in all her dad’s 75 years before he had his deathbed conversion, she had never had a meaningful relationship with him. I can’t think of much that is any sadder. I like your “reverence” and substitute awe and exceptional respect for “fear”. With the price of coffee going up, methinks God would prefer the $ 1.25 for the extra cup of coffee, which will go cold, to go to a clean water project on another continent (like Ginghamsburg UMC). All this to say thanks for the blog! Speaking of Brennan, I sometimes think of his youtube short sermon where he says he feels strongly that God will have just one question for us at our judgment: “Did you realize how much I loved you.?”
We’ve been attending a Vineyard Church for the past 7-8 years. I’ve never heard these suggestions, but like you said, there is an emphasis on having a relationship with God. One suggestion I heard recently at church that I really like and have been trying to practice, is having quiet time with/for God, with nothing else on my agenda. I don’t “cuddle” or pretend God has his arms around me, I just sit and pray, clear my mind of all the daily “stuff” and enjoy the time with God. It’s been a powerful experience and I feel more at peace with lifes circumstances than I have in a long time. So, my experiences at a Vineyard Church have been different than the author had and I’m glad for that!
Check your e-mail for my thoughts. Hugs……Donna
I am fairly new to this “having a relationship with God” thing. I have always believed in him and known he existed, but now he is in my life like he has always been, only now I know he is in it. Anyway, all that to let you know I don’t know if I know enough to be giving opinions, yet.
I think like you do, reverence may get lost if we get too cuddly with God. I hug my Dad hello and good-bye and every now and then just because, but we don’t cuddle. That would be uncomfortable to me. I can’t imagine being that equal to my earthly father or my heavenly father. Because I’m not.
I am so glad you are doing well with the cancer. I, too, have lc and am praying for miraculous results.
Deanna
Thanks for sharing this, it is something I have struggled with myself since as a child, my church did not emphasize a relationship with God. What I have come up with, though not sure how Biblically sound it is, relates to how I have tried to wrap my head around the concept of the Trinity. God I awe and fear, it is to Him I confess when I sin and to Him I apologize. I recognize Him as the Almighty and Omnipotent. Jesus is my friend. While all the same things are true of Him as of God, Jesus is the one I turn to when I am hurt or sad or frustrated and need encouragement, because I know He experienced things in the same flesh I wear. The Holy Spirit is my guide, the one to whom I try to submit my will and the one I ask to “help me make good choices.” I cuddle with my husband
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Loved these responses…especially Rebecca’s.
As I’ve been preparing for going to teach at Bible camp in Canada this summer, one of the things we’ve talked about is emphasizing the difference between “making a decision” and “becoming a disciple.” I think that this is what is at the heart of developing a relationship with Christ. Over the years of being in the churches I’ve been a part of, I think there has been an overemphasis on the “making a decision” and a woefully inadequate discipleship program.
About 5-6 years ago I finally got serious about some of the disciplines that are keys to my walk with Christ…things like personal Bible study, scripture memorization, meditation, prayer, fasting and others. They have become a part of my daily routine, and they have made my relationship with the Lord come alive.
When we let our desire to share Christ be boiled down to saying a prayer or “inviting Jesus into our hearts,” we open the door to what I heard one preacher describe as “inoculating” people with the Gospel. We give them just enough of the Gospel so that it doesn’t have any power with them any more. What a thought!
So I do understand the emphasis on relationship in the Vineyard Churches you’re talking about. It is essential. But I’m with you…there needs to be reverence for our Father.
See what you’ve invoked, Sara? These responses are powerful! These last two should be printed in a book somewhere – right along with your blog. Love ya’.